Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Thought for the day - Hurricanes
Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
The Mandir or the Mandira Factor ?
This one is exclusively for the cricketing fraternity.. and for those who are not familiar .. a thousand apologies !
Nonetheless, this is an interview with one of the commentators of "the game"
Interviewer : How important is it for our cricketers to improve their technique?
Mandira : I really can't comment on that ... (blushing) ... Oh! That! Yes, it is very important for them to work
on their technique constantly ....
Interviewer : What was the hesitation for ?
Mandira : I'm afraid in cricket, the ball has a mind of its own, and a lot of the times you have to "wait and watch"
Interviewer : Tut tut, what position does the third man take ?
Mandira : Listen, you go read the Kamasutra. I don't have time for nonsense like this.!
To quote commentators further... the world is all about mind and matter, I don't mind and U don'tmatter...
Basically, all that's well ends well !!
Nonetheless, this is an interview with one of the commentators of "the game"
Interviewer : How important is it for our cricketers to improve their technique?
Mandira : I really can't comment on that ... (blushing) ... Oh! That! Yes, it is very important for them to work
on their technique constantly ....
Interviewer : What was the hesitation for ?
Mandira : I'm afraid in cricket, the ball has a mind of its own, and a lot of the times you have to "wait and watch"
Interviewer : Tut tut, what position does the third man take ?
Mandira : Listen, you go read the Kamasutra. I don't have time for nonsense like this.!
To quote commentators further... the world is all about mind and matter, I don't mind and U don'tmatter...
Basically, all that's well ends well !!
Thought for the day - The astronaut love triangle
How about that story, you know the NASA astronaut?
This female astronaut ... tried to kidnap and murder another NASA engineer, who was her romantic rival. She put on a wig and attacked the other woman with pepper spray and a BB gun, after driving 900 miles from Houston to Orlando, Florida, in diapers, so she wouldn't have to stop to pee. She drove 900 miles wearing diapers, thus breaking the old record set by Larry King." ... Jay Leno
When they caught her, she was wearing a wig and an adult diaper. There was a lot of confusion, because originally, authorities thought she was Elton John."
She drove 900 miles in a diaper. That's pretty amazing. Britney Spears can't even make it around the block in her underpants." ... David Letterman
The astronaut love triangle. I love that one. NASA hasn't had this much press since they faked that moon-landing thing in the '60s." ... Craig Ferguson
"Of course, since this is America, people capitalize on these things . . . have you seen these? Huggies with the 'Astronaut fit?'" ... Jay Leno
This female astronaut ... tried to kidnap and murder another NASA engineer, who was her romantic rival. She put on a wig and attacked the other woman with pepper spray and a BB gun, after driving 900 miles from Houston to Orlando, Florida, in diapers, so she wouldn't have to stop to pee. She drove 900 miles wearing diapers, thus breaking the old record set by Larry King." ... Jay Leno
When they caught her, she was wearing a wig and an adult diaper. There was a lot of confusion, because originally, authorities thought she was Elton John."
She drove 900 miles in a diaper. That's pretty amazing. Britney Spears can't even make it around the block in her underpants." ... David Letterman
The astronaut love triangle. I love that one. NASA hasn't had this much press since they faked that moon-landing thing in the '60s." ... Craig Ferguson
"Of course, since this is America, people capitalize on these things . . . have you seen these? Huggies with the 'Astronaut fit?'" ... Jay Leno
Divine Press Release..
Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that God had an affair with a former worshipper.
The scandal was begun when a 21 year old woman, known only as Mary, claimed that she had given birth to God's "only son" last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem.
Sources close to Mary claim that she "had loved God for a long time", that she was constantly talking about her relationship with God, and that she was "thrilled to have had his child."
In a press conference this morning, God issued a vehement denial, saying that "No sexual relationship existed", and that "the facts of this story will come out in time, verily".
Independent counsel Kenneth Beelzebub immediately filed a brief with the Justice department to expand his investigation to cover questions of whether any commandments may have been broken, and whether God had illegally funneled laundered money to his illegitimate child through three foreign operatives know only as the "Wise Men".
Beelzebub has issued subpoenas to several angels who are rumored to have acted as go-betweens in the affair. Critics have pointed out that these allegations have little to do with the charges that Beelzebub was originally appointed to investigate, that God had created large-scale flooding in order to cover up evidence of a failed land deal.
In recent months, Beelzebub's investigation has already been expanded to cover questions surrounding the large number of locusts that plagued God's political opponents in the last election, as well as to claims that the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah was to divert attention away from a scandal involving whether the giveaway of a parcel of public land in Promised County to a Jewish special interest group was quid pro quo for political contributions.
If these allegations prove to be true, then this could be a huge blow to God's career, much of which has been spent crusading for stricter moral standards and harsher punishments for wrongdoers. Indeed, God recently outlined a "tough-on-crime" plan consisting of a series of 10 "Commandments", which has been introduced in Congress in a bill by Rep. Moses.
Critics of the bill have pointed out that it lacks any provisions for the rehabilitation of criminals, and lawyers for the ACLU are planning to fight the "Name in Vain" Commandment as being an unconstitutional restriction on free speech.
The scandal was begun when a 21 year old woman, known only as Mary, claimed that she had given birth to God's "only son" last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem.
Sources close to Mary claim that she "had loved God for a long time", that she was constantly talking about her relationship with God, and that she was "thrilled to have had his child."
In a press conference this morning, God issued a vehement denial, saying that "No sexual relationship existed", and that "the facts of this story will come out in time, verily".
Independent counsel Kenneth Beelzebub immediately filed a brief with the Justice department to expand his investigation to cover questions of whether any commandments may have been broken, and whether God had illegally funneled laundered money to his illegitimate child through three foreign operatives know only as the "Wise Men".
Beelzebub has issued subpoenas to several angels who are rumored to have acted as go-betweens in the affair. Critics have pointed out that these allegations have little to do with the charges that Beelzebub was originally appointed to investigate, that God had created large-scale flooding in order to cover up evidence of a failed land deal.
In recent months, Beelzebub's investigation has already been expanded to cover questions surrounding the large number of locusts that plagued God's political opponents in the last election, as well as to claims that the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah was to divert attention away from a scandal involving whether the giveaway of a parcel of public land in Promised County to a Jewish special interest group was quid pro quo for political contributions.
If these allegations prove to be true, then this could be a huge blow to God's career, much of which has been spent crusading for stricter moral standards and harsher punishments for wrongdoers. Indeed, God recently outlined a "tough-on-crime" plan consisting of a series of 10 "Commandments", which has been introduced in Congress in a bill by Rep. Moses.
Critics of the bill have pointed out that it lacks any provisions for the rehabilitation of criminals, and lawyers for the ACLU are planning to fight the "Name in Vain" Commandment as being an unconstitutional restriction on free speech.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Up yours ?
I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable.
And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.
George W. Bush
He can be humorous if the need arises ....
And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.
George W. Bush
He can be humorous if the need arises ....
Thought for the day... George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Celebs - you hate them yet you can't do without them !
Alicia Silverstone
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness"
It amazes me to notice the depth of actresses [no pun intended]. At times, they come out with such statements which leaves one clueless as to which "depth" she was referring to [pun intended]... In which case, true lightness [no pun intended] would definitely bring to light the shining star and three wise men..
Unfortunately, Alicia is a personal favorite.... so appreciate if you don't smoke her out too much !
Britney Spears
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada"
Absolutely lost here..... which C is she over while flying ! [ pun intended ]
Britney, Madonna and Aguilerra
With due apologies... This is an old one but to be take in light humor.....okay here goes.....
Due to a mix-up on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilerra are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.
Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy." Not to be outdone, Britney ripped $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy." Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make a million people happy !
And that was the end of the conversation of Agulerra, Madonna and Britney.
Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver
Now this deserves commendation, however, what we would have been interested is the amount they put on research, to arrive at such a conclusion !
Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"Most lies about blondes are false"
Less said the better... let sleeping dogs lie !
George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
"It is white"
Touche .. cool one there.... whether intended or not.. but good one nonetheless..
Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"The internet is a great way to get on the net"
Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas"
In support of Britney !
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness"
It amazes me to notice the depth of actresses [no pun intended]. At times, they come out with such statements which leaves one clueless as to which "depth" she was referring to [pun intended]... In which case, true lightness [no pun intended] would definitely bring to light the shining star and three wise men..
Unfortunately, Alicia is a personal favorite.... so appreciate if you don't smoke her out too much !
Britney Spears
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada"
Absolutely lost here..... which C is she over while flying ! [ pun intended ]
Britney, Madonna and Aguilerra
With due apologies... This is an old one but to be take in light humor.....okay here goes.....
Due to a mix-up on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilerra are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.
Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy." Not to be outdone, Britney ripped $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy." Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make a million people happy !
And that was the end of the conversation of Agulerra, Madonna and Britney.
Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver
Now this deserves commendation, however, what we would have been interested is the amount they put on research, to arrive at such a conclusion !
Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"Most lies about blondes are false"
Less said the better... let sleeping dogs lie !
George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
"It is white"
Touche .. cool one there.... whether intended or not.. but good one nonetheless..
Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"The internet is a great way to get on the net"
Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas"
In support of Britney !
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